Emotional Affairs

Emotional Affairs

October 17, 2010

Infidelity Forcing Itself In A Relationship – Can You Win Back Their Heart?

Author
Joe Mayer

If you are going through a terribly disastrous period in your marriage, where you may know that your wife or husband is cheating on you, then I’m truly sorry that you are having trouble with such a terrible event. I’m going to attempt to give you some insight to understand why cheating assault marriages to begin with, and that will give you a heads up with how you can rebuild your relationship

Understanding Why Physical and Emotional Affairs Occur

The main direction for now should be to comprehend why cheating happens. It’s such a disastrous event to even think about – I’m sure you love them dearly and really have no clue what could be wrong – but people cheat for quite similar reasons. For the most part there are two real reasons as to why people have an affair, and I will try to go over them following paragraph. Ladies usually cheat for one same reason, and men cheat for an entirely different one – but you can be sure there ARE certain patterns that you can learn from and understand.

Why Do Guys Cheat On Their Women

Most ladies understand that men become unfaithful because the other girl is prettier or younger, or perhaps has something that she doesn’t have herself, that forces him to sway towards her. But that isn’t true! In reality, men commit adultery because of something that they need to have emotionally: the necessity to be admired.

Men NEED your admiration as much as they require air. Swallow that for a second and really think about it – early on in the relationship the girlfriend usually gives her boyfriend huge amounts of admiration. She will laugh at his jokes uncontrollably, caresses him the way he wants, smiles at him in a reassuring way, and pretty much just gives him lots of admiration. He becomes a rock star – the king of the world – and is deeply in love with her for it.

However – as the clock ticks – husbands and wives in a loving relationship usually to tone down a touch. The girlfriend maybe will not him the admiration she once used to, and after that he will become exploitable to other women. From then on at the house he won’t gain the admiration – but – at the office he will receive tons of admiration the whole day through. This is when he is truly vulnerable and “easy to snatch”

Insight: Why Wives Commit Adultery

You see women cheat for similar reasons, but it is a bit different. Ladies have the need to feel appreciated. When your wife isn’t receiving the appreciation she may do everything imaginable she possibly can to receive it – and when she feels it from another person then that’s precisely how she will be uncontrollably drawn into the cheating.

Again, men and women keep score differently. A woman isn’t like men and don’t value a one shot gigantic sign of being appreciated – instead, she requires ongoing appreciation on a week to week basis. The appreciation would just be small acts of love and appreciation that give her reassurance that she is continually irreplaceable to her husband.

A woman who is unappreciated will quickly find it from somebody else, and her intent will not be to cheat – but this is how the slippery slope of an affair is invited into the home of marriage.

How to Reverse The Infidelity & Recapture Your Marriage

The recommended action to accomplish this is to discover simple ways to admire or appreciate your partner back into the marriage. Again, there is a hole that is there, and that’s the true reason why the affair came. The affair isn’t the core reason, it’s just a tiny symptom. Learn the true issues and you can bolster your relationship.

Learn more about how you can survive the emotional affair and win back your husband/wife forever. I urge you to read more about surviving an emotional affair

Click Here to Learn How to Survive Your Spouse’s Affair and Save Your Marriage
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October 12, 2010

Emotional Infidelity Video – 7 Skills You Need to Take Your Life Back

Author
admin

Emotional Infidelity – Take Your Life Back

Emotional Infidelity - Click Here to Get Your Free Course

Emotional infidelity poses a serious threat to the security of marital relationships. When one partner turns to an outside party for emotional validation, intimate communication and intimacy in a social relationships, an affair has begun.

The truth is that emotional infidelity begins long before the cheating spouse crosses the line in his/her friendships. Without noticing, the intimacy and connection in the marriage starts to weaken, spouses get lonely and the attention that they receive outside of the marriage begins to mean more than it should, leaving the betrayed spouse in a state of confusion.

So where do you turn when you don’t know what to do? Well, the worst thing that you can do when dealing with infidelity is to do nothing at all.

The problems in the relationship won’t go away, the hurt won’t disappear and the love and trust will not reappear. You have to do something. Finding the path that will lead you back to a healthy place in your thoughts, in your emotions and in the relationship can happen if you are willing to learn the proven skills that you need to heal from the trauma of emotional infidelity.

Emotional Infidelity – Skills that you need to get your life back
- Erase the images from your mind…
- Rebuild your self-esteem…
- How to talk about the details…
- How to find out why it happened…
- Why you don’t need to forgive…
- 10 things you must do TODAY…
- Decide if you should stay or go…
Emotional Infidelity - Click Here to Get Your Free Course

Click Here to Learn How to Survive Your Spouse’s Affair and Save Your Marriage
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September 23, 2010

Emotional Affair: Have You Entered a Danger Zone?

Author
admin

Emotional Affair: Have You Entered a Danger Zone?

You don’t wake up one day and decide to have an affair. You’re more likely to gradually enter into the arena of emotional infidelity—and many couples are surprised to discover that this slippery slope begins long before a physical affair is underway. Why is this? Someone starting an emotional affair often denies or minimizes the significance of what is happening (“It’s just innocent flirting” or “We’re just friends”). Denial allows the emotional affair to crest long before the implications of the affair are fully realized.

What is an emotional affair?

A sexual affair is easy to identify—you’re either having sex with someone other than your spouse/partner, or you’re not. An emotional affair isn’t always that obvious. For instance, is offering emotional support to a coworker you find attractive crossing a line? Should you keep your distance from everyone you find charming? Is there such a thing as “innocent” flirting?

Don’t allow these shades of grey to obscure the fact that there are clear warning signs that you are journeying down the treacherous path to an emotional affair. Often these signs have as much to do with your behavior as with your feelings for another person.

Let’s turn our attention to these danger zones.

10 Emotional affair danger zones:

1. You go out of your way to repeatedly “run into” this person. We all look forward to seeing people we enjoy—a particular friend or interesting colleague, for instance. If you’re honest with yourself, however, you’ll know the difference between a truly coincidental meeting and a “coincidence” that occurs because you stood around the office coffee machine for two hours (and you don’t even drink coffee).

2. You say things to this person that you wouldn’t if your spouse/partner was standing next to you. This is an important litmus test to determine if the relationship is starting to cross the emotional affair boundary line.

3. You begin confiding in this person. When you confide in someone, you create a more intimate relationship by sharing information about yourself that isn’t shared with just anyone. When you take someone in your confidence, you’ve elevated the relationship to “special” status.

4. The relationship becomes charged with a secretive, forbidden energy. This creates an “us” dynamic that separates the relationship from all others—the relationship is designated as unique because of its secretive nature. This also imbues the relationship with excitement and an element of danger (in direct contrast to the ho-hum energy of your current relationship).

5. When the kindle of an emotional affair is sparked, you begin to anticipate time spent with this person. Looking forward to spending time with someone other than your spouse isn’t inherently wrong or dangerous. But when the foundation of an emotional affair is being poured, this anticipation causes you to feel a longing and level of excitement that should only exist in your marriage.

6. You put on your “best face” to impress this person. When you begin to have feelings for another person, you go out of your way to be charming, funny, sympathetic… The best “you” begins to emerge and you deliberately act in ways to enhance your appeal. A side note: These changes usually mirror how you behaved when you first dated your spouse or partner.

7. You begin having problem-discussions with each other—in other words, you start to share your deepest struggles and intimate longings with this person. These conversations create a powerful no-one-else-understands-me-like-you-do bond.

8. S/he becomes the “go-to person” to share all important news with. While it is human nature to share the events of your life with the people most important to you, once you’ve entered the gateway of an emotional affair, your spouse/partner becomes less central in your emotional world as your give more of yourself to another person.

9. Before you know it, you can’t help comparing the new person to your spouse/partner—and it should be no surprise that your partner fails to make the grade. In your mind’s eye (and in the illusion of perfect love), all the differences that stand out for you indicate that this new person will be a superior mate and give you the happiness that has eluded you.

10. You begin lying to your spouse/partner. When your partner asks about your day, you omit any reference to this person (or you go out of your way to minimize his/her significance). This is a clear indication that you have something to hide and is often the first warning sign that an emotional affair is simmering.

If you see yourself entering several of the above emotional danger zones, it will be important to hit the pause button on this new relationship before it’s too late. The allure of an emotional affair can create the illusion that perfect love exists and is right around the corner—that the only obstacle to real happiness is your current marriage or relationship.

Before you end up risking everything, take a few deep breaths. Then start to take stock of yourself and your marriage/relationship to see what is missing—becoming emotionally involved with someone else is often just another hurdle to the effort and work that committed relationships require.

To discover more relationship tips, visit www.StrengthenYourRelationship.com and sign up for Dr. Nicastro’s FREE Relationship Toolbox Newsletter.

As a bonus, you will receive the popular free reports: “The four mindsets that can topple your relationship” and “Relationship self-defense: Control the way you argue before your arguments control you.”

Richard Nicastro, Ph.D. is a psychologist and relationship coach with over fifteen years experience helping individuals and couples build stronger relationships. His relationship advice has been featured in numerous national magazines.

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Is Your Wife Having an Emotional Affair?

Author
admin

Is Your Wife Having an Emotional Affair?

Copyright (c) 2009 Ed Opperman

As many men already know — extramarital infidelity can surface in a few different ways. Sometimes, a woman may be having a physical relationship with another man, in other cases — a woman maybe having what appears to be a platonic relationship with another man, but the boundary between friends and “too close” have become blurred. There is a third type of relationship that a woman may have with a man, and this relationship is oftentimes the most difficult to detect — an emotional affair with no physical contact.

Extramarital infidelity is, for many people, a type of an affair. While an emotional affair may lack physical intimacy, or even physical contact for that matter — within the confines of marriage, generally the longing for another individual, or their attention, is usually viewed as a breach of the unwritten rules of a marital relationship. Even if the so-called “affair” is simply an emotional affair, this could have devastating effects on your relationship.

Signs your wife may be having an emotional affair

-Has your wife suddenly become more cheery, or just has a better demeanor about her for no apparent reason?

-Does your wife spend a lot of time on the computer, while being secretive about who she’s chatting with, her e-mails, and the website she’s visiting?

-Has your wife suddenly taken a renewed interest in her overall appearance?

-Has your wife suddenly lost interest in talking with you about her day’s activities — especially when she used to be a “chatterbox”?

Now, just because your wife is displaying one of the above signs, or even several of these signs — this does not mean that she is necessarily engaging in extramarital infidelity. However, these are telltale signs that your wife may be developing an emotional interest and other man.

How to respond to potential extramarital infidelity

If you suspect that your wife may be, at the very least, talking to another man in an inappropriate way — the first thing you need to do is get proof. Do not confront her — if what you suspect is true, you may only end up building a bigger wall between the two of you. On the opposite side, if you confront your wife about potential infidelity and that simply is not happening — you could do irreparable harm to your marriage. There are online fidelity investigation services that can help you to verify whether your wife may be involved in an inappropriate relationship with another man.

In many people’s eyes — cheating is cheating, regardless of whether it is physical or emotional. However, before confronting your wife on your gut feeling — it is a good idea to get some solid proof to backup your suspicions.

Ed Opperman is the Pres of Opperman Investigations Inc and the chief investigator for www.emailrevealer.com If you need assistance with a Dating Service (Infidelity) Investigation please feel free to visit his web site.

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Click Here to Learn How to Survive Your Spouse’s Affair and Save Your Marriage
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